Either it is or it isn’t…

“It’s like people who want to feel only happy but not sad,” she said. “It never works. You don’t get to pick and choose. At least, I don’t think so.” As said by Grace, a 4-grader from the book I’m reading, Don’t Let Me Go by Catherine Ryan Hyde that I recently read.

I thought it funny how we pay little attention to children when they speak, but in this case, what she said spoke loud and clear as to the action of adults. As adults, we have a tendency to want to pick and choose our emotions as if one is better than the other or that being happy makes everything all better. Welllll, it really doesn’t. We have contrasting emotions for a reason because we simply can’t have it all just one way or there’d be no balance’; and we need balance in everything and every aspect of our lives.

I do think there are many that choose to be one emotional state or another, but it’s typically because the alternative aren’t always favourable. If you’re sad and depressed all the time, then who’d want to be around you and what pleasures would you experience in life? (rhetorical) Being happy all the time doesn’t mean we’re free from pain or heartache either. I think we simply choose to deal with the pain and then seek and choose happiness as the better way to be.

There is a ying and yang in all of us!

Love the life you live; live the life you love!

8 thoughts on “Either it is or it isn’t…

  1. I was just thinking similarly. I had a long conversation. with someone about love/fear and joy/pain. It was not a pleasant conversation at times. I knew what was being said yet I was like geez. I was not in the moment and I only wanted to be pain-free. I know it is not realistic. The human mind/heart can be fickle. You want to stay happy and don’t want it to end you dread it and hope it lasts a little longer before pain comes. Or you sulk on pain and wonder when it will end yet you get scared of losing happiness again so you just stay. SMH. Learning to balance is not easy. Right I am in the midst of dealing with some challenges and I keep saying to myself to find joy in the small things until this phase passes. JMO

    • Shai, I understand and appreciate your candor on this one. We’ve been led to put unnecessary stock in the expressions “misery loves company”, but the truth of the matter is it doesn’t. It may for the moment, but when the weight of it really hits and the bough is about to break, we suddenly want to reach out for any semblance of levity.

      Balance is the key to it all. What we must learn is that we’re allowed to feel unhappy or sad, but we must not remain as such. We must explore the root of said unhappiness, address it and then put closer to it in order to move on. Finding the joy in anything; as small as it may be is enough to turn an ember into a flame of happiness. In doing this, we’ve accepted the ying/yang and given ourselves the authenticity of our emotions.

  2. There are times when children put adults to shame with their common sense view of things.

    Something that an adult might call a moment of clarity.

  3. But I thought that’s what the happy pill’s for? Be happy all the time.

    True you can’t pick and choose your emotions, but you certainly don’t want to be the over sad or over happy person. seek a balance lol. I’ve be too happy of late so today I reserve the right to be a moody bastard :))) noooo! that smile is all wrong! :((((( ahh! now that’s much better!

    TGIF Blu!!!

    • As I said to Shai, we have countering emotions for a reason and we have to accept the bad with the good. It’s all how we manage them is what’s important and what counts!

      Now turn that frown upside down and embrace the day! 😀

  4. Nice post blu….control of one’s own emotions is key to striking a balance between sad and happy moments. But isnt there a real danger of completely upsetting your controlled state of mind by being good samaritan to another who may be in worse shape?….You know the frustrating scenario of nothing you say or do comforts the person and before you know they’ve drawn you into negativety

    • In that regard, that’s where you do the best YOU can and then walk away as not to get dragged into the abyss of their negativity. You cannot be anothers emotional tampon; especially when they refuge to change…It’s not selfish on your part, but instead; self-preservation!

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