It’s been four months since I last posted anything and while I have about 87.3 entirely legitimate reasons for my absence, I’m not happy about it.
Life events have a way to disrupting ones routine and said disruption has shown me why routine is not always a good thing. I’ve come to truly understand and appreciate that there are many things in life that should occur spontaneously and impulsively in order to feel the fullest effects of the many ups and downs of life. Controlling what we do day in and day out can make us rather dull and keep us out of touch with the multitude of things, people, and events occurring around us.
Granted, there are things one has to maintain consistency on, such as our jobs, finances, and taking care of our varied responsibilities, but those aside, I’ve realized that once those have been tended to, it’s important to live and be a part of this one-time event called Life. There are no encores and no do-overs to speak of, so why not live while you’re alive. Give those who may one day mourn your loss a reason to speak truthfully in their recollections of you and your life. No one wants a liar at their memorial service. Well, there’ll be some simply because it’s human nature, but at least go out knowing you left an indelible mark where it was supposed to be.
I’m currently in the final stage of moving from a house I’ve spent almost 16 years living in to one I’ve been split living in for almost 4. This particular transition is tremendously hard for me; not because I don’t want to move, but because I’m not used to living with other people. Shared spaces are a little hard for me. As I’ve stated in previous posts, I’m territorial, I like order, and I like cleanliness. I abhor things not being in their respective and rightful places. Things should be cleaned up after being messed up. And one should have the presence of mind to respect things of which are not their own. Small children, 10 and 7 come with this move, so I’ve been the more strict in how the house should be kept.
Most children these days aren’t being taught to take care of their things, space, and cleanliness; thus, making even more work for the adults in the house. That is a major NO GO with me. Children aren’t to be coddled and allowed to be visitors in their homes; they’re to take care of it because it is their home and space. I reiterate the importance of taking care of their home and cleaning up behind themselves. Many a toy has been trashed on account of their not maintaining their things. Laundry has gone unwashed because I will not remove underwear left in bottoms. Yes, I know it may sound petty, but I treated my Lil Lady that way, so I won’t make exceptions for my future step-children.
Speaking or marital events, I’m now engaged! That serendipitous event took place in July. :-)
Friendships have taken turns for the better and worst in the many life events underway in my life. I’ve began removing people for their lack of reciprocity, controlling/manipulative/narcissistic ways/or simply because our season is over. I’ve come to value my quality of friends rather than the quantity even more than before. I refuse to be a sponge and learned to be a sieve and release that which has no value added. I fully embrace the joys of the real and wholesome relationships where we heal, restore, value, reciprocate, uplift, encourage, enhance, and positively influence each other. Relationships have to be more than titular in order to have real purpose and value.
I have to credit and thank Barefoot Contessa for her checking in on me, encouraging, and sometimes doing her best to entice me into some form of salacious behaviour since she and I are quite alike in many ways. Her unsolicited emails have been a wonderful source of inspiration and she’s now going to become my accountability partner to keep me writing. It’s not that I entirely need one, it’s just without a well-functioning pc or laptop, I’m limited to my tablet, which isn’t that easiest thing to use as a writing tool. I can post from work, of which I’m currently doing, but that ability is contingent on my daily projects. I’ve decided, I’ll allow an additional 30 minutes to my work day for personal use until I’m able to remedy my home pc situation.
I’m in the midst of planning months where I can travel since I miss it tremendously and need to get back out into the world so to speak. Florida is on tap for May and Vegas for July. In between that, I’d like to swing Jamaica too. I’m sure there’ll be day or long weekends to NYC, Maryland, VA, and wherever else draws me in.
So, I’d like to get back to the living life bit. Time is of the essence and with all the craziness taking place in the US and globally, it’s another indicator that we have to seize as many moments as we possibly can. We can’t always wait until the weekend to go to the movies, go out to dinner, go shopping, meet friends etc. We have to do things impulsively, spontaneously, and with vigor. We have to give thanks each day that we’re blessed with in order to show The Divine we’re grateful for the life he’s prescribed. We can’t keep holding on to things and/or people for sentimental reasons. We must be diligent in living right NOW. Heal what’s hurting. Release the weights holding you back. Forgive, let go, and move on. Keep your heart channels open to both give and receive. Don’t grudge others for what they have; not everything is for everyone. Restore yourself and walk with your head held high; especially toward those who’ve cursed and demeaned you.
Embrace the transitions; even, no, especially the scary ones. Trust The Divine to be with you through it. Open your life to serendipity; she’s a beautiful surprise. Take chances; take risks; break free of routine. Set attainable goals and work those plans you’ve set.
Each occurrence in life is whatever you deem it to be…a mistake is typically a learning or life lesson. A new experience awards an achievement. Don’t let something new scare you. Face that thing head on and show it who’s boss, but don’t fake it til you make. Own the so-called losses because they truly do make you stronger and help you find a better coping skill.
I know I’ve been a bit random here and I’m okay with that. I’ve got going on in this head of mine and with time I’ll sort through it all, but in the mean time and between time, I’m just letting it all flow. Something good always washes ashore.
Be well and sign your name in indelible ink wherever you go and in whatever you do.
Check out this song and read the lyrics. I think it sums things up quite nicely.
That’s How Life Goes
My life’s a twisting roller coaster on the run
I get no warning when the bad turns are gonna come
It’s a journey with no certainty
so I’ll make my peace with whatever will be
That’s how life goes
That’s how it goes
So you live and you learn to let go
That’s how life goes
That’s how it goes
So in good and in bad you let go
That’s how it goes
I could wonder what my life might have been
had I chosen to float down the other stream
Though some days felt like a slap in the face
there is nothing in my past I’d erase
The good days are enough to keep me strong
So I’ll make my peace with whatever may come
That’s how life goes…
I will let go of the dark thoughts that were ruling me
I will let go of my worries
I will live by the dreams that have been driving me
I’ll try to be the best I can be