Reason, Season, or Lifetime
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person. – Unknown
Knowing, understanding, and accepting the aforementioned is one of the most complex and agonizing of life’s lessons and experiences we will face and with age, I’ve found it to be one of the most liberating experiences I go through.
In the past, I tended to rationalize the behaviour and actions of others and allow them to stay well past their expiration dates; in turn, providing them with a revolving door into my life and emotional capital of which was squandered. There were too many Reasons and Seasons that I almost allowed to become Lifetimes.
At this stage of life, I find myself closing doors more easily and more often. I no longer allow myself to be held by nostalgia, chronology, and some misplaced sense of loyalty even when the other party finds a way; or at least attempts to reign me back in using those very same things to assuage their guilt for lack of contribution or participation.
I favour and embrace the truth of where we are now, instead, of the role we each once played in the other’s lives and what we gained in those times or moments. I recognize the varying degrees of relationships and the impression they had; however, to remain bound by that adds no gain. My life is tantamount to an investment portfolio, where I have to regard the deposits made and the interest earned to determine whether I’m getting the most for my life’s relationship investments. I choose not to live my life in the red or leaning toward emotional bankruptcy. I reserve the right to close accounts and send statements of insufficient funds when people have overdrawn from my life and emotional well-being. I refuse to continuously allow people to deplete me, be it financially, emotionally, physically, or mentally.
I have to recognize the signs of the Reason, the Season, or the Lifetime in order to grow in every aspect of my life. I cannot rationalize what doesn’t warrant the thought process because if I have to rationalize where we stand, I already have my answer. What I must do is honour the Reason that became as Season for what it provided and reserve myself for those who are the Lifetime, and at the forefront of that is Myself.
I’m currently liberating myself of someone who was a Reason, a Season, and what I thought would be a Lifetime. I openly, fully, and wholly accept the Reason and the very many Seasons they played, and realize that Lifetimes are wholly reciprocal relationships. Lifetimes are proactive, inspiring, uplifting, bullshit calling, and wholesome. Lifetimes make others a priority and honour those who have bought the ticket with the true intent to ride until the end.
This closure has been in the making for some time now; not entirely of their own making; however, and in spite of their words, their action has proven itself to be terminal. There is nothing to wrestle anymore. There is no taking into account the two plus decades of friendship (Reasons and Seasons) where we once saw each other through the others eyes, or saw each other through the myriad of life’s ups and downs. All there is, is to let go.
What was once perceived to be the embodiment of a Lifetime will become a fading memory shrinking further and further into the distance and will eventually set on the horizon of this part of my life’s chapter. I am very much okay with that. I honestly didn’t think I would be, but I truly am and in an odd way, I feel a bit relieved; exhilarated even as it feels like I reached past an emotional plateau.
So, here I am, older, wiser, and much lighter on my life’s journey. I hear Ms. Badu clapping in my head and praising me for not being a Bag Lady. (I told you before, music is always in my head!)
If you’re struggling with Reasons, Seasons, and Lifetimes, take a moment to set your life up like a bank account or investment portfolio so you can see if you’re truly getting the best out of your life.
Honour thyeslf always! J