Blog Challenge: Day 29 — Something you hope to change about yourself. And why

being me

I’m not sure there is much I really want to change about myself.  I’ve worked hard and overcome much to be at peace with the woman I’ve come to be, so, by doing that, why would I want to change?

being me quoteFurthermore, if I change, would I still be authentically who I am?  That’s rhetorical at best, so we’ll conclude with the fact that I don’t want to change anything.


Yea, I said it!

A Timely Reminder…

I received the following in an email, which served as a timely reminder of ways to 1) live, 2) improve the quality of your life, and 3) because it’s worth sharing…

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short – enjoy it.

4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye, but don’t worry, God never blinks.

16.. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.

18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

19.. It’s never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ‘In five years, will this matter?’

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.

35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative of dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have, not what you need

42. The best is yet to come…

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.”

Live the life you love; love the life you live!

Either it is or it isn’t…

“It’s like people who want to feel only happy but not sad,” she said. “It never works. You don’t get to pick and choose. At least, I don’t think so.” As said by Grace, a 4-grader from the book I’m reading, Don’t Let Me Go by Catherine Ryan Hyde that I recently read.

I thought it funny how we pay little attention to children when they speak, but in this case, what she said spoke loud and clear as to the action of adults. As adults, we have a tendency to want to pick and choose our emotions as if one is better than the other or that being happy makes everything all better. Welllll, it really doesn’t. We have contrasting emotions for a reason because we simply can’t have it all just one way or there’d be no balance’; and we need balance in everything and every aspect of our lives.

I do think there are many that choose to be one emotional state or another, but it’s typically because the alternative aren’t always favourable. If you’re sad and depressed all the time, then who’d want to be around you and what pleasures would you experience in life? (rhetorical) Being happy all the time doesn’t mean we’re free from pain or heartache either. I think we simply choose to deal with the pain and then seek and choose happiness as the better way to be.

There is a ying and yang in all of us!

Love the life you live; live the life you love!

Feeling the spirit…

If I told you I LOVE music, it would be an understatement. Music is like the blood running through my veins to sustain me. Music is my source of expression, comfort, joy, and punctuates moods.

My iPod is like an appendage and contains the lyrical script of my life and if I ever lost, I’d be devastated to say the list.

This morning as I rode into work, I plugged in the iPod and let the shuffle do it’s thing. I came across the following I Shall Not Be Moved by Kenny Bobien and damn near lost my mind. That cup of coffee had nothing on the energy boost this song gave me. I was singing and bouncing in the car ignoring the curious looks from other commuters passing by. When the spirit leads you, you just go with it. I feel like an eagle soaring this morning. 🙂

Check it out for yourself boys and girls, but I warn you, if you sit in an open area, you may also get curious looks; it’s worth it 😉

That is all!

Live it and embrace it…

“…if you’re feeling in a slump, allow the winds of change to blow through your life.  Life is a learning process, and changes can be wonderful opportunities for growth. Don’t be afraid of change! Embrace it and grow!”

I didn’t come up with the quote; however, it’s in keeping with my philosophy of life.  We can’t expect anything to grow and change if we do nothing to nurture it.  It’s imperative that we continually self-exam ourselves and our lives in order to cultivate the richness, fullness, and the greatness that is each and every one of us.  Whatever your skills are; whatever your direction is; whatever makes you happy is something to be proud of and something to continually improve upon.  If you want something, you have to work to achieve it. 

Life is our gift and what we do with it is up to us, so open your hearts and mind to  fix what’s broken and even if something isn’t change is still good; nothing progresses without it.

Sending out love and positive vibes to all.  Have a great day family. 

That is all!

Own your shit…

If we’re honest, and I mean completely honest with ourselves, we’ll realize that the #1 reason why we can’t get past our past is because we keep repeating it.  We repeat it because we keep re-reading the chapters that should have been dealt with and left alone.  We sit around complaining about this or that, while never really addressing what caused the mess in the first place; quite often it’s our not owning our shit.  We blame him or her; this or that, while disregarding our complicity or culpability in any situation.  Save for situations of abuse where I don’t know anyone who volunteers for that; we’re in part to blame for when things go wrong, not according to plan, or get the results we expected.  Einstein said it best, “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” I state again, WE NEED TO OWN OUR SHIT!! We can’t and shouldn’t expect to move forward when we have a foot parked in the past and we can’t expect doors to remain closed when we leave them ajar.

Self-assessment is never easy. Think of those reviews we sometimes have to do at work where we’re asked to assess how we think we’ve done over the past 12 months. It’s not an easy task, unless we’re egocentric and narcissistic, but that aside, while self-assessment is never easy, it’s still necessary. Self-assessment allows us to review ourselves with full disclosure in order to make the necessary corrections for improvement, which often means closing chapters. We can’t complain about someone coming back into their lives while we’re entertaining the so-called offending party. We must learn to deal with the person and then close the chapter and leave it closed. We can’t put the hurt aside, if we don’t first address and leave it in its respective place in order to obtain something functional. Close the chapter and leave it closed. If we carry the hurt and pain from one relationship to another, we’re doomed to repeat it. Again, close the chapter and leave it closed. We can’t continue to worry about certain situations because we’re afraid of hurting someone’s feelings. Hell, if they wronged you, they obviously didn’t care about yours. I see it like this. Honesty is something we tender with kid gloves because when we hold our honest feelings/truth from somebody to “keep the peace,” we’re really saying “I want them around the way I want, so I’m going to lie to keep them in their lane.”  But the sad truth is, when we do that we’re actually not being dishonest. We’re taught to be honest in our formative years and in taking so much time to get honest, say what we need, and be willing to walk away if we don’t find to be the or a truth. We have to realize that regardless of what the other person thinks or feels, OUR feelings are what we have to live with, so it’s more than important to tend our needs as we have to live with ourselves regardless of whom we have in our lives. OWN YOUR SHIT!

Closing chapters is essential to our growth, well-being, and our stability. If we walked around as open books, we’d be even more chaotic than many of us already are. We have to 1) perform the periodic self-assessment, 2) make the necessary corrections in whatever capacity we need to, 3) own our shit, and 4) close the chapter with honesty and forgiveness are essential components is this life equation.

Closing chapters and owning our shit is a lifelong process, but once we get into habit of doing it, the frequency becomes less and less as we learn a little bit more each time. It’s time to stop the insanity, the unnecessary plea bargaining and come to terms with ourselves and our lives. Remember, there is no encore; let’s do our best to make that dash count and stop carrying around the unnecessary.

Let’s let Erykah Badu close out this post with Bag Lady. The lyrics say it all…

Bag lady you gone hurt your back
Dragging all them bags like that
I guess nobody ever told you
All you must hold on to
Is you, is you, is you

One day all them bags gone get in your way
One day all them bags gone get in your way
I said one day all them bags gone get in your way
One Day all them bags gone get in your way

So pack light
Pack light
Pack light
Ooh ooh

Bag lady you gone miss your bus
You can’t hurry up
Cause you got too much stuff
When they see you comin
Niggas take off runnin
From you it’s true oh yes they do

One day he gone say you crowdin my space
One day he gone say you crowdin my space
I said one day he gone say you crowdin my space
One day he gone say you crowdin my space

So pack light
Pack light
Pack light
Ooh ooh

Girl I know sometimes it’s hard
And we can’t let go
Oh when someone hurts you oh so bad inside
You can’t deny it you can’t stop crying
So oh, oh, oh
If you start breathin
Then you won’t believe it
You’ll feel so much better
(So much better baby)

Bag lady
Let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go
Ooh, ooh
Girl you don’t need it
I betcha love can make it better
Betcha love can make it better
Betcha love can make it better
(Need someone to love you right)
Betcha love can make it better
(I betcha love, betcha love)
Betcha love can make it better
Betcha love can make it better
Betcha love can make it better
Betcha love can make it better
(I betcha love, betcha love)
Betcha love can make it better
(I betcha love, I betcha love, oh)
Betcha love can make it better
Betcha love can make it better
Betcha love can make it better…

Bag lady, hmm
Let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go
Girl you don’t need that, hmm

FYI…Men you carry a bag too, so don’t be fooled by the title of the song.

That is all!