Friday FAIL – P2

Here we are again folk, my sampling of some things we just should not see or maybe in one instance; for the ladies of course – DO want to see…Hehe! 😉
Tweedle Did and Tweedle Don’t

I can run faster than him

Ain’t none hotta than me

And this is what you guys are saying about me…
This girl just ain’t right and the community will stage an intervention

Have a great weekend

That is all!

If you can’t say it right, then don’t say it…

Given I was born and raised in the UK, studied and earned a B.A Lang/Litt, and have a pretty firm command on being well spoken, I undoubtedly cringe when I hear things mispronounced. I prescribe to the philosophy of the wealthy, “if you have to ask how much it cost, you can’t afford it”, but with words…”If you can’t pronounce it, then you shouldn’t say it”. So, imagine my shock, appall, and then subsequent humour with the following…

My bestie came to my desk this morning to say hi and drop something off for me. During the conversation, she tells me that she’s in search of a fragrance that won’t make her husband sneeze and how she happened upon a woman who was wearing a fragrance that appealed to her. She asked the woman what it was and the woman replied, “Juicy Cooter”. (Currently holding in my laughter as I type) I said, “she’s wearing what?????” And that’s where I lost it. I let out a roar of a belly laugh as I tried to say, “did she mean Couture?” My bestie nods her head affirmatively as she too now erupts into a belly laugh. I finally regained composure and said, “I guess she has no idea of how to say Couture or she’d have thought better of what she actually said?!” We agreed between laughter that neither of us would want to walk around smelly like Juicy Cooter.

This led me to recall a girl Lil Lady’s knows who stated she wanted to get a pair of Looboat’ins (loo bow (soft) ‘t’ ins; yes, my readers; she actually said that. My ears bled profusely upon hearing that. I said, if she can’t pronounce the rather fine, expensive, and quality footwear, she obviously should not be wearing them. Agree?

Call me a word snob, but really? If you’re trying to impress someone or you want to wear or own something expensive; something obviously foreign, at least know how to properly pronounce it. The following are some other words that make my ears bleed and make me want to wretch at the sound of the mispronunciation…

Gee van she – Givenchy
Ver sayse – Versace
E Saint Law rent – Yves St. Laurent
Hoot Cooter – Haute Couture
Whores De Over – hors d’oeuvres
Juno say qua – Je ne sais quoi
Arrow postal – Aeropostale

Sidenote…here’s a few regular words that are either often mispronounced or are just plain wrong…

Irregardless – not a word
Mines – grammatically incorrect
Conversate – not a word
Skrimp – definitely not a word

My fingers hurt for having actually typed those awful words. Please feel free to add some of your own

That is all!

Friday Funny – well, maybe Friday FAIL

The following will make you choke, laugh, want to throw up, or maybe all of the above. These were some pictures I came across and procured during an unfortunate web surfing escapade.

Please don’t say I didn’t WARN you, when you’re cussing me out in your comments… LOL 😉
I clean up well right?

I heard about those wraps to make you lose weight, so I’m trying it out

I’m the hottest heiffer; I mean chick in the game

A menage a trois; uhm tragic

I’m the baaaadest b*tch

That is all!

Happy Endings

When you’ve suffered with a chronic condition, you welcome anything that will offer some form of relief. I’ve been getting chiropractic care on and off for years and it wasn’t until last summer that I began to get some consistent relief for my degenerated disc, sciatica, and intermittent shoulder pain. I sought out and found a Chiropractor in Philadelphia Dr. Alex Jamieson who had a spinal decompression machine, which I felt would be of great benefit to me. After the initial consultation, the doctor performed my spinal adjustment and then put me on the machine, which slowly stretched my spine; releasing the knot that had taken up squatter status in my back and its cousin had taken residency in my hip/pelvic area. After the first experience on the machine, I felt woozy and ached like crazy, but that was to be expected given my body had gotten used to functioning in this deficient manner. Later in the day, I began to feel some relief and I was on cloud nine. I continued seeing this chiropractor for a few more times before I stopped as it became a geographical conflict as I was no longer worlking in Philadelphia.

I did the best I could to maintiain good spinal health and mitigate my chronic pain/discomfort, but it’s not called chronic for no reason. So in January of this year when the dreaded pain escalated, I began my search for a local Chiropractor. I didn’t want to go back to the previous local one I used because I felt I needed more than he could give me after my experience in Philadelphia. I was speaking with a co-worker who told me he sees a Chiropractor and recommended his. Word of mouth is good advertisement, so I called and scheduled an appointment. The initial office consultation went well and then we were off to table. I was told the adjustments were usually at least 30 minutes as that would be the best way to really address the concerns and provide the best results. I was immediately wooed by this because my previous Chiropractor; not the one in Philly, didn’t allow that much time for his adjustments. They felt more like wham, bam, thank you ma’ams. Not that he was a bad doctor, but for me; more attention equates to a better outcome.

My initial adjustment took closer to 45 minutes and by the end of it, I felt like I’d experienced a non-sexual orgasm. My body, quivered, shook, and I outwardly moaned as this doctor worked his magic on me. I left his office feeling liberated of some of my pain/discomfort, in addition to being elevated physically to another plane. (insert smoking gesture 😉 ).

We’ve gotten to know each other pretty well during my office visits and each time I walk out of there, I feel like the proverbial Happy Ending has been given. My body has been greatly improved, my flexibility restored, and my pain level greatly reduced. We now joke about my reactions to the adjustments and how I feel when I leave the office. I’ve come to refer to my adjustments as the best sex I get with my clothes on :-). I wish I’d known about Dr. Daniel Colache prior to this year in order to be relieved of pain sooner, but it’s probably for the best that I did because if I were still single then, I’d never need a boyfriend 😀 . Jokes aside, Dr. Dan, as I affectionately call him, is a great doctor who provides outstanding healthcare with an infusion of humor and compassion for the patient. I’m happy to have a him as a great addition to my health care providers.

That is all!

Inquiring minds…

Why do people text you during working hours and then seem a little peeved when your reply is delayed?

Why do people feel the need to call your landline; if you have one and then you’re cell; leave messages on both and then when you call back, they say, “I was just calling to say hi and/or check touch base”.

Why do people feel the need to talk really loud on their cell phones and then look at YOU all crazy when you look at them while shaking your head?

Why do people threaten to quit or say, “Then fire me”, when in an argument with their manager knowing they don’t have another gig to fall back on?

If one prefaces a comment with “no offense but…” does it make their inquiry/comment any less offensive?

Why do people get upset when a person comments to Facebook or Blog post when they were the ones who opened the door for rebuttal anyway?

Why do some people feel one should justify why they have a tattoo or piercing?

Why is it some find it easier to believe a stereotype instead of find out the facts for themselves?

Why can’t people understand that not all things are for public consumption?

That is all…For now!