I got gripes…

Given my current erratic state of mind, I thought it best not to try and post something that requires a consistent thought process, so instead, I’m going to compile a few things I’ve got gripes with and why.  Strap on your seatbelts kiddies, this could be a rollercoaster ride…

As a dark skinned woman who’s heard the phrase “you’re pretty to be dark skinned”, which tends to illicit a plethora of emotions mostly ranging in the rage mode where I have to count very quickly to 10 as not to spew the stream of expletives forming in my mouth from the foolishness I’ve just heard.  Contrary to popular belief ALL shades of black is beautiful and should NOT now be  suddenly embraced because Lupita Nyong’o has won an Oscar and broken the white societal stereotype for black women.  More importantly, we as a black community, should have long embraced our wide and varied hues instead of waiting for mass media to shove it in our faces.  I understand the past force-fed attitude and belief that darker skinned blacks were less than, but it’s 2014 damn it, so get a damn grip.


Why is it that when the likes of Beyonce, Jennifer Hudson and the like take their damn weaves out the media goes crazy talking about “oh, check out their new bob or hairdo!”  Really??? Freaking really?  This is one of the most annoying things I have the misfortune to read  in the media.  Now, I’m not saying that these or other woman can’t and don’t grow long hair, but damn, let’s call a spade a spade and stop all the damn pretense.

beyonce long beyonce short hudson short hair hudson with hair

Please for the love of all things that make sense, can someone please tell me why they’re still caught up in how many people are on their Facebook, following them on Instagram or Twitter?  Real friends are a small and valuable commodity and counted in quality and not quantity.  Got me shaking my damn head so hard I’m getting a headache. migraine

real friends

Was having a conversation with My Love and were were discussing the importance of dressing well.  I didn’t say out of budget, I said ‘well’.  Dressing well makes you feel good, evokes positive responses and can sure as hell my a woman’s panties wet without a touch.  He dresses okay and looks nice when he dresses and has argued that he doesn’t need a closet full of clothes.  I agree; however, having the necessary basics and being able to coordinate a nice ensemble without having to run to the mall is key.  We were out and saw a group of men closer to our demographic and he gave me that ‘look’ to punctuate what I’d been saying.  Their women were well dressed and they were selling their women quite short.  While this comment is an immediate indictment to men, I caution women to step their respective fashion game up too.

swag vs class

And for shits and giggles, I’ll throw this pic in.  The dress cost $8.49 and the shoes $19.99 (both designer gear I might add) and for $28.48 I looked amazing if I say so myself.  Styling on a budget 😉

me @ SSCAll for now my lovelies…

Yea, I said that!

Aging with grace…

I look at my female contemporaries and realize that for the most part, I’m in the minority when it comes to make up. I’m a minimalist; always have been and always will be. While I’ve worn make up in the past; mostly for modeling purposes, I’ve always shied away from it. Eyeliner and mascara are pretty much the extent of my wearing makeup. I wear lip gloss, but rarely does it even have any colour. When I was asked to be a part of the media campaign for Gilda’s Club South Jersey, I was mortified with the amount of makeup the makeup artist applied; all while she’s complimenting how nice my skin is…Go figure! I called my girlfriend to complain and she told me to wipe it off to an amount I was comfortable with; I did. During the shoot, the damn woman decided to reapply…Lord knows she came 1) dangerously close to getting her hand slapped and 2) me opting out of the shoot.

I dress in fashion I deem personally appropriate and have never really prescribed to the dictations of Tommy Gunn or whoever the fashion critic is of the moment. In college, I was called “the Lisa Bonet of Stockton” because my style was a mix of bohemian, eclectic, and whatever mood I was in that day. I liked being me in that regard. To date, my style varies, but I have always leaned toward classic, feminine, and classic styles. I’d have fared well back in the 1920s through 1950s as their fashions were rather tasteful and very stylish.

I look through magazines and see this beauty product to clear your skin, that beauty product to reduce or minimize wrinkles; you name it, it’s out there. How’s a woman to keep up? This one doesn’t! I use a natural soap to wash my face; unscented baby wipes to remove eyeliner and mascara, and an unscented natural moisturizer on my face. Since my hair is natural, I likewise use natural hair products, which have reduced my getting breakouts as a result of the chemicals. Easy is as easy does in my book! I strive to eat well, drink lots of water, and exercise when my lazy ass musters the initiative. I’ve noticed changes in my skin over the years; some of it due to the medicine I no longer take, some due to life, and some due to the aging process; none of which I even overly concern myself with. I’m aging with grace and I accept it for what it is.

Yes, there are days when I look at myself and am not always pleased with what I see, but is anyone visually happy with themselves everyday? I accept that day regardless and move on. There’s more to me than my face and I accept myself with my flaws.

With media and society doing their best to make me feel less confident about myself visually, it actually inspires me to be the more defiant; much like the petulant child I know I can be sometimes. I took a hard road to get where I am where I let others tell me what I should or shouldn’t do to qualify as pretty or beautiful. Though I’ve never truly considered myself beautiful on the outside, I damn sure know I am on the inside and that alone is grace and the real definition of beauty in my book. My looks may not make me Ebony, Essence or the like; cover worthy and I’m truly alright with that. As long as I see myself as such; as long as my man sees me as such; and as long as those who truly know, love, and care for me see me as such, then I’ve got it going on.

I’m 45. I’m 153-155lbs (depending on the day…lol). I’m mentally, emotionally, and spiritually fit. I’m whole. I’m secure. I’m able. Most of all I’m happy. All of those things age me with grace and I love it!

That is all!