Books and covers…

abuse

 

We see many people and gleen an impression of whom we thing they are. What’s wrong with that picture? Well, maybe after reading the image and this post, you may just stop doing that.

I saw this on Pinterest and found myself deeply moved by its content. Not because it spoke to the mysterious “he” that it spoke of, but more to the fact that it so reminded me of a friend.  What impacted me the most about it, was it spoke damn near spot on to how I watched her act in almost all the years we’ve been friends, but primarily over the past decade.  She promotes self-imposed image and role of the “good girl”, the poster image mother, the entitled, and other such lofty positions/opinions. I’ve watched her polish up the veneer she wears so proudly to detract from the fact that this very thought-provoking image proves.

All too often, things such as the B&B and depicted is targeted toward me; however, I’d like to counter that and say, women as pretty much on par with this form of behaviour.  It’s more socially acceptable for the women to be or play “the victim”, so they’re more likely to get away with it or have it dismissed or ignored.  Personally, I think it’s all bullsh*t!  I’m sick and tired of the ghosts of women past, who fought and died for the equal rights women have come to afford, want, and/or expect, essentially for naught.  Now, I’m not saying there aren’t those who are actual victims, but for crying out loud, let’s not continue to buy into the bullsh*t.  Yes, men are often times guilty and less likely to seek counseling, treatment, or some form of help for whatever their emotional issue is, but I bet any one of you fine readers can identify a woman who personifies the B&B.

Please don’t think for one minute I’m disparaging my friend of speaking behind her back because that is certainly not the case. I have spoken with her about her viewpoint, antics, and actions and I very much still care for her; however, her antics leave much to be continually desired.  I’ve been the party that sided with her and comforted her while she played the victim.  For decades she has chosen this behaviour as a front to not dealing with real issues.  Sadly, the Baiting and Bashing has played a part in the demise of her marriage and adversely affected our friendship.  Her soon to be ex-husband has his own issues and culpability, which lead to where they are now, but, I say once again, I’ve seen and heard first hand the B&B.  I’ve tried to talk to my friend and offer my suggestions on how to best work through her issues, but it remains an action undone.  I can’t continue to aid and abet in such behaviour as I find it counter-intuitive to ones growth and development, so I remain distant and hope that she’ll one day see past herself and deal with the issues that have caused her to be this way.

At the end of the day, I live by the rule of, “what’s right is right and what’s wrong is wrong”.  I’m not a sugar coat it kind of gal; I say what I mean and mean what I say.  I’m rarely passive-aggressive and would rather own my words and actions than pass the blame.  Life comes with good and bad and we must accept it and work toward that which we’ve earned and not what we feel entitled too.

angrynarc1

Yea, I said it!

Who the what now?

Recently a good friend and I were having a conversation about people who are always full of drama, negativity, or are always asking for advice.  She then told me those people are called Askholes?  Now, I see you looking at the screen like Huh?

askholeWell, that’s the definition of it.  I’m sure Webster isn’t up on it yet, but it should be.  Don’t we all know someone who fits this title?  For shits and giggles, please share the Askhole in your life and for their protection, you can alter their names.  Hahaha!

 

Yea, I said it!

 

Trending thoughts…

Parents these days need to understand that their children sometimes need to be spoken to in a stern voice in order to have their voice heard and force the child to recognize that things aren’t always up for debate. I’m so sick and tired of parents talking to their kids with this sugar-sweet voice and expect to be taken seriously.  Children require discipline and the understanding that actions have consequences.  If these parents insist on talking to their kids like things are up for debate or in the sugared tone, how the heck do they think they, as parents will command the respect their title/position holds, be an authoritative figure, or expect their child to have any comprehension of how to conduct themselves?

Why do some women think it’s okay to dress their daughters as mini versions of themselves? I’m sick of seeing toddlers and little girls with weaves, press-on nails, and clothing that is entirely inappropriate of a child that age to be wearing.  In addition to taking issue with the mothers, I take issue with the designers of such garments.  It’s bad enough our daughters are being sexualized through the media outlets and then they back it up with child versions of adult clothing.  SMDH 😕

If a man already has multiple children; to include baby mammas, why does the next woman think or expect him to have time and money for her child?  I’m sorry, there is no way in this or the next lifetime am I taking up with a man with multiple previous children, especially if he’s not taking care of them.  In that vein, why would a man want to take up with a woman with multiple children and baby daddies?  Sadly, I can’t even say it’s a ghetto thing since there are athletes and such in that very category.

When I’m at a club and a man offers to buy me a drink, I opt for refusing it as I don’t want him to think I’m now in some way obligated to indulge in conversation, accept his advances, or be “his” for the time I’m there.

I’ve got issues with people touching me.  I take such offense to it that I’ve had to have my friends run interference when they see it happening.  If someone; especially someone I don’t know is conversing with me, it’s wise they keep their hands to themselves; men in particular.  There is no reason for him to talk with his hands on my person.  A fave line when this occurs, “talk with your mouth, not with your hands” and usually walk away.

After almost 32 years, I still have my English accent and find it annoying as all hell to have someone try to speak like me or ask me to repeat particular words because they think it’s cute.  It’s one thing to not understand, but to treat me like a doll, I don’t think so.

When people find out I was in the military, I am usually not please with the startled response, you were in the service? as if feminine looking women don’t wear uniforms.  Puh-leeze!  That’s tantamount to thinking all gay people have a “look”.

Have a good weekend luvies!

Yea, I said that!

I got gripes…

Given my current erratic state of mind, I thought it best not to try and post something that requires a consistent thought process, so instead, I’m going to compile a few things I’ve got gripes with and why.  Strap on your seatbelts kiddies, this could be a rollercoaster ride…

As a dark skinned woman who’s heard the phrase “you’re pretty to be dark skinned”, which tends to illicit a plethora of emotions mostly ranging in the rage mode where I have to count very quickly to 10 as not to spew the stream of expletives forming in my mouth from the foolishness I’ve just heard.  Contrary to popular belief ALL shades of black is beautiful and should NOT now be  suddenly embraced because Lupita Nyong’o has won an Oscar and broken the white societal stereotype for black women.  More importantly, we as a black community, should have long embraced our wide and varied hues instead of waiting for mass media to shove it in our faces.  I understand the past force-fed attitude and belief that darker skinned blacks were less than, but it’s 2014 damn it, so get a damn grip.

lupitaIMG_20140102_221421

Why is it that when the likes of Beyonce, Jennifer Hudson and the like take their damn weaves out the media goes crazy talking about “oh, check out their new bob or hairdo!”  Really??? Freaking really?  This is one of the most annoying things I have the misfortune to read  in the media.  Now, I’m not saying that these or other woman can’t and don’t grow long hair, but damn, let’s call a spade a spade and stop all the damn pretense.

beyonce long beyonce short hudson short hair hudson with hair

Please for the love of all things that make sense, can someone please tell me why they’re still caught up in how many people are on their Facebook, following them on Instagram or Twitter?  Real friends are a small and valuable commodity and counted in quality and not quantity.  Got me shaking my damn head so hard I’m getting a headache. migraine

real friends

Was having a conversation with My Love and were were discussing the importance of dressing well.  I didn’t say out of budget, I said ‘well’.  Dressing well makes you feel good, evokes positive responses and can sure as hell my a woman’s panties wet without a touch.  He dresses okay and looks nice when he dresses and has argued that he doesn’t need a closet full of clothes.  I agree; however, having the necessary basics and being able to coordinate a nice ensemble without having to run to the mall is key.  We were out and saw a group of men closer to our demographic and he gave me that ‘look’ to punctuate what I’d been saying.  Their women were well dressed and they were selling their women quite short.  While this comment is an immediate indictment to men, I caution women to step their respective fashion game up too.

swag vs class

And for shits and giggles, I’ll throw this pic in.  The dress cost $8.49 and the shoes $19.99 (both designer gear I might add) and for $28.48 I looked amazing if I say so myself.  Styling on a budget 😉

me @ SSCAll for now my lovelies…

Yea, I said that!

RaNdOm MuSiNgS

Do you think I can Crowd Fund for a vacation?

I really want Kim K. and Kanye to just GO AWAY 😕

As much as I like music, I’m having a really hard time with ‘black’ music these days *sigh*

Weight loss is easier said than done; though I can’t really gained any

I’d like to see the promotion of something relevant in the media

Random act of kindness shouldn’t be so random…Each one reach out to one would work wonders

I like viewing rather than posting pictures on Instagram

I ordered a product called Baby Foot  but am scared to actually try it

I want to do more with my time

I was asked to participate in doing a video interview about Self-Mutilation and while I’m okay talking face to face with people, I’m no longer sure about it being YouTube :-/

The Word comes RIGHT ON TIME…Thank you Jesus! 😀

Have a good weekend! ❤

 

Yea, I said it!

And the wait is over…

Hello, my name is Blu Jewel and I’m an addict! Yea, I said it! *crickets* Yea, I know you’re all like, “what?” “Jewel’s an addict?” “She tells us a lot, but has never even hinted at being strung out on something”. *Head scratching ensues followed by creased/confused brows*

I’m addicted to the tv show Scandal and it’s been a few weeks since a new episode aired. Talk about withdrawals! Sheot! A crack fiend in rehab has nothing on me right now.

Well, the wait is over and if you too are a Scandal addiction, let me share this with you….

ATTENTION ALL SAINTS: Please be advised that praise and worship/devotion will begin promptly this evening at 9:52 PM EST/8:52 PM CST. We ask that all choir members are in uniform and seated in the choir stand ready to sing. We ask that all deacons are suited and seated on the deacon’s row. We also ask that all church m…others have their wigs turned straight, are seated in the front row, and they have their prayer cloth placed neatly over their legs as not to tempt the speaker. Devotion will be timed and will last only 10 minutes. At 10:02 PM EST, our speaker will take the pulpit and we must have all hearts and minds clear and ready to receive the word from Minister Olivia Pope and Associates. We ask that you please govern yourselves accordingly. These have been your church announcements! #Scandal #Tonight #BeenALongTimeComing #Amen

And there you have it 😉

Live the life you love; love the life you live!

When cell phone use goes too far…

Earlier this week, I was on campus at my alma mata and went to use the ladies room.  I walked in to hear a young lady using the toilet while still talking on the phone.  I could hear both ends of the conversation as the phone volume must have been set to high, which was far more than I needed to experience while peeing.  As I hurried to finish, I heard the young lady put the person on hold; presumably to wipe herself and then continue the conversation. 

As luck would have it, she and I came out of the stalls at the same time and she was still talking as she washed her hands and then make her exit; I just looked at her and shook my head.  C’mon girl!  From what I heard of the conversation, it could have certainly waited until she was done her business and then called her friend back.  And to make matters worse, the conversation wasn’t anything that one could consider an emergency, so why could she not have waited?  Where are we going as a society when we can’t disengage for a couple of minutes to handle natures business?  The more I see people on cell phones, the more annoyed I get. 

I’ve been forced to weave and dodge to get around a people on the street, in the store, or almost anywhere in public, they walk and text.  I’ve overheard way too many conversations because people insist in speaking really loud as if the person on the other end is deaf. 

My Love told me that while on travel, one of his co-workers walked into freshly laid cement because he was so busy texting and didn’t see the sign and subsequent cordoned off area of the fresh cement.  Needless to say, his shoes were ruined, he pissed off the masons, and was the laughing-stock of the group for the rest of the day.

I see groups of people out in public places where one would think the immediate social interaction would suffice, but no, they’re all on their phones.  It leads me to wonder why they even bothered to go out in the first place.  It seems like with all the engagement of social media, people are becoming more and more disengaged, which is pretty sad.  When I’m out with friends, I rarely ever pull my phone out and I make an issue if someone else does.  We’re supposed to be sharing time together; with each other, so there should be no need to include our respective phones. 

In addition to my annoyance, with the lack of limitations of where people are using their phones, I take offense when people text instead of calling.  I understand that sometimes texting is the best source of communicating with someone at certain times, but I refuse to have in-depth conversations with people via text.  Those conversations need to be voice-to-voice or face-to-face.  Text don’t talk and I’m not going to keep using emoti-speak to convey my emotions or have to wait to continue to conversation on account of overlapping messages.

There’s a time and place for everything, but it seems like real communication has become a lost art.  Penmanship has gone to hell because we type so much.  Vocabulary is not fully used or mastered because everyone abbreviations, which couple with bad spelling is a nightmare to read.  Many have real conversations that include emoti-speak, which drives me quite mad.  And worst of all, people have simply just lost the ability to speak and interact face-to-face.  We can’t have closeness; real closeness, if we’re so disconnected. 

This weekend, I challenge each of you to give up your cell phones for as long as possible and interact fully and wholly with other people.  Try to keep the use of your phones to the bare minimum and then let me know how it went.  I’ll do the same.

Truth be told, I play games on my phone more than I do anything else…hehe! 😉

Have a great weekend.

Live the life you love; love the life you live!