Randoms and sh*t!

My Love and I had a Family and Friends cookout on Saturday and I was unfortunately behind the 8-ball in getting ready.  A friend showed up and saw me in my frazzled state and offered her help, but instead of just stepping in; especially since I’m not typically in such a state, she sat on the couch and went to sleep. Who.The.F*ck.Does.That?  Sadly, this is the second time she’s done this and guess what?  There won’t be a third. I was quite annoyed, but chose not to further upset myself by saying anything and let it go.  I simply limited my interaction with her in favour of our other guests.  In spite of that, the cookout was a huge success and everyone had a great time.

I had a conversation with My Love’s mother that I hadn’t ever expected to have and said some rather severe, but not disrespectful things that I felt needed to be said. She initiated the conversation by speaking out the familial dysfunction and I felt compelled to respond. He wasn’t happy that I was being dragged into the conversation, but I felt I needed to respond openly and honestly.  I want things to be in an improved state between them and hope that things will be.

I had the best time with my cousin who’d come into town after taking her son to college in Boston.  She and I are more than just cousins; we’re best friends, confidantes, ride or die, skeletons in the closet, take it to the grave.  We talked, laughed, shared, and did all the things we do when we’re together.   Even though her visit was only for four days, it was a wonderful few days.  It’s not always the quantity of time, but the quality of the time.

I’m tired of woman playing the victim.  I’m sick the hell of it.  I want women to stop blaming others for the issues in their lives and do something about it.  We live in a time where seeking counseling is no longer the taboo thing it was in decades ago.  There are so many options for women to work through their hurt, pain, abuse, etc and not let it take over and impede their lifes development.  I’m sick of said women pointing the finger at others or trying to fix others, when they’re got their own issues and are broken themselves.

I can’t help but get annoyed when I see parents dressed well and their kids look raggedy.  I saw this, this weekend and found myself so tempted to call bullsh*t on a woman  looked a mess while she well dressed and put together. I have to invoke Kermit and say, “it ain’t none of my business though”. Haha!

My birthday is next Saturday; the 13th and I have absolutely no idea how I want to spend it. I have a massage scheduled for the 11th and I’m taking off the 12th, but nothing planned as yet. I find this oddly amusing and exciting because I usually have something planned.  Things will fall into place and I’ll enjoy the times beset to me.

I watched the documentary, Stories We Tell by Susan Polley and it made me rather sad.  In so many ways, I related to her experience, because I was 5 before I found out my stepfather wasn’t really my father and I met my biological father and two of my seven siblings.  I was about 13 when I met my eldest; now deceased brother and spend decades not knowing my remaining siblings. To date, I’ve met and know all but one of them.  Truth be told, I really don’t care if I ever meet her. I’m almost 47 and she’s went into her early 60s, I presume so what could we possibly talk about or how could we bond?  It’s rhetorical really.  I do find it sad that there are so many children who have no idea of their true paternity or that they have siblings they don’t know.  More than it, I think it’s scary.  I’d hate to be the one who found out I was involved with a half-brother, cousin, or other family member.  Eek!

Even though I’m not married yet, I’ve already decided how the bridal party will be dressed, the colours, and that there will be NO cell phones permitted. I find it rather distasteful that people attend weddings and other formal functions and publish the photos without the consent of the parties whose event it was.

I mailed some birthday cards and it felt really good. I enjoy acknowledging someone’s special day and being able to have them have tangible proof of my remembrance and wanting to share in their happy occasion.  I still have more cards to send; September is a very active birthday month.

My college reunion is next month and I don’t feel the same excitement that I’ve had for the past three.  Maybe because I’m in transition in my life, but I can’t say that with certainty.  Maybe it’ll come to me by the end of the month when things and people start really getting into high gear.

I haven’t received the invitation yet, but have been invited to a college friends 50th birthday celebration.  I was quite flattered when asked for my mailing address.  We’d always gotten along while we were in school and I got the impression he had developed an interest in me when we’d seen each other back in 2010, but nothing came of it.  He never pressed it and it was left alone. I highly doubt there is any romantic interest even now; it was merely a situational thing back then.  He’s a classy guy and I know his event will be as he is.  A very close friend has also been invited and I’m looking forward to attending.

I STILL need to lose at least 10 lbs and hope I’ll actually get around to losing it.  I need to get my body back to where I’ll actually enjoy looking at it and not tolerating it.

Yea, I said it!

 

Who the what now?

Recently a good friend and I were having a conversation about people who are always full of drama, negativity, or are always asking for advice.  She then told me those people are called Askholes?  Now, I see you looking at the screen like Huh?

askholeWell, that’s the definition of it.  I’m sure Webster isn’t up on it yet, but it should be.  Don’t we all know someone who fits this title?  For shits and giggles, please share the Askhole in your life and for their protection, you can alter their names.  Hahaha!

 

Yea, I said it!

 

Randoms…

Facebook continues to annoy me; people have too much free time on their hands and/or assume we all want to know everything they’re doing all day; everyday

Scandal has me geeked out and My Love teases me incessantly about it

In one week, a good friend and my brother told me that my capacity to love wholly and fully is one of my greatest attributes

I miss my best friend a lot and hope he comes to NJ soon

Just because I haven’t posted or even commented on other posts doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten about you all…I miss blogging and really need to get back on track

I’ve decided to estrange myself from  my father again and did it without a second thought; he deserved it

I’m in dire need of a vacation outside of the country

Lil Lady turns 21 next month and I have no idea what she wants to do 😕

How does one wake up and find they’ve strained their knee in their sleep?  I don’t know either, but did it…ouch! 😦

Sometimes I just want to run away

Of late, when someone does something stupid on the road, I pray for their traveling mercy instead of getting mad

I long for a day when all I do is read and write

I’m hosting the 3rd Annual Egg Hunt at the Queendom next Saturday and have over one hundred eggs to fill by then…who’s helping? 😉

My Love and I are planning a long weekend away; I can’t wait

I can’t wait for some consistent 55-60 degree weather so I can detail Big Buddy and get him all shiny for the season…yes, I detail my own ride

I enjoy the anticipation of a waiting for a letter to come in the mail – Lil Bro’s letter is due

I found this really cool website liveluvcreate and think you should check it out

I have no particular plans for the weekend, but whatever I do, I’m going to enjoy to the fullest

Live the life you love; love the life you live!

Random musings…

I can’t help but look at some people and say to myself, “they look like they stink”

I look at overweight couples and wonder if they have a sex life

I’d rather hang around a sinner who owns his/her sins, than hang around church folk who act like they don’t

“If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with”…Why?  That’s settling

Stranger:  Is that your man? (after seeing his pic on my phone)

Me: Yes, why?

Stranger:  Oh, he must have big paper

Me: No, he has a big d*ck

Stranger: *crickets*

Me:  Have a great day! (walks away with a huge grin on my face)

Purpose of the story: Why to black men assume that because a black woman is with the “other” man, that it’s about money?

Memories don’t leave like people do, but sometimes I wish they would

Nothing worse than waking up from a sexy dream and 1) being alone and 2) not being able to get laid

As much as I enjoy reading, I have yet to give in to the hype of 50 Shades of Grey

It’s a little disheartening that the only person that does something for me “just because” is my best cousin and trust me, I love her dearly for that

Some of the most comforting moments I’ve experienced were when I was alone and God spoke to me

When my inner voice speaks, I listen to her because otherwise she becomes one nagging little beyah!

I recently read this from a book “don’t call it woman’s intuition; that’s from your vagina…call it a hunch and trust that”  I couldn’t help but oddly agree

When I see gay women who look like men, I sometimes wonder if they’re wearing a strap-on

I wish my free-spiritedness could take me away right now; flights are so expensive

If I had a dollar for every time my parents have told me they love me, I’d be broke

Sometimes when I listen to certain songs, I can recall exactly time, place, experience, person…it has, on occasion brought me to tears!

I’m now in the second quarter of my new year and I feel a definite positive shift toward something good and amazing

I’ve some to realize that if the sum of my experiences have made me stronger, I could be a real-live Superhero

When in doubt, reach out…sometimes it’s better to get a second opinion

I hate when someone I really don’t want to speak to or hear from comes to mind because then I’m left wondering why they come to mind in the first place

I recently found myself wanting to call *bullsh!t* on someone, but changed my mind because I realized at some point they’re lie will again expose itself…self-incrimation is far worse than anything I would’ve said

If what these mass-killers did is so heinous, why does the media insist of constantly showing their faces instead of the faces of those lost?  I’d rather their images be in my face/mind than that of a murderer

If you’re innocent until proven guilty, but the crime you’ve committed self-indicts you (mass murder), why do we need to waste time and money on a trial?

I saw a little girl; maybe 9-10 who had a (bad) weave in and I wondered 1) why the mother would even have a weave in the young girl, 2) what message she was sending to the girl, 3) why did the weave look so bad, 4) allow a child to grow into herself and stop to doing to so-call make the adults like easier

The levels of narcissism in our society today are 1) at an all time high, 2) aggravate the ish out of me and 3) is so very unnecessary

If we spent more time tending our own lives, we might actually be able to accomplish something

 

 

Live the life you love; love the life you live!