Just because you’re poor…

My love, from his previous marriage is still part owner of a rental property because he and his ex have been unable to sell it.  It sucks for all parties, but because my allegiance is with him, it sucks for him to be attached to something that’s 1) not making any money, 2) is rented to low-income residents who are just down right dirty, and 3) because on occasion, I help him get things done. 

Just recently, he had to go to the property to clear the yard of debris; namely household trash that the tenants failed to take to the curb for pickup.  The tenants on both floors are able-bodied and the sidewalk is maybe 2o feet for one and fifty for the other. I may be being generous on the distance, but needless to say, the distance isn’t far at all.  So, can one of my astute and rational-minded readers explain to me, why the trash was left to pile up to the point where the city had to get involved?  If you’re thinking is like mine, you’re probably saying, “they’re just plain lazy and nasty”…Just because you’re poor/low-income doesn’t mean you have to live filthy or lazy.  The house may not be the best of places, but if you could afford better, then they’d be living somewhere else.  Furthermore, if they lived in an apartment, they’d have to take their respective trash to the dumpster, so there’s no excuse for not putting the trash on the curb once a keep.

That instance aside, my love had to go to the property about a keep ago to install flooring in the first floor apartment.  I stopped there to bring him lunch and upon entering was taken about by chicken bones laying on the floor and other dirtiness about the place.  She always has an excuse as to why the house is dirty or smells, but there is no excuse if you ask me.  This tenant is a young woman in her mid-twenties with 4 kids…Yes, I said 4.  I don’t know the exact ages, but from the photo I saw, they range from about 3-9.  She goes to school and may be working, but there is still no excuse to live dirty.  Regardless of the house; as previously stated, it still belongs to someone and she’s getting assistance for her rent etc, so why is it too much to keep the house clean.  She chose to be Loosey Coochie, so she should accept all that comes with taking care of her homestead, her children, and herself.  I give her credit for being in school, but I can’t for the life of me understand why people live dirty.

I’m not standing on a moral pedestal, but how hard is it for one to simply clean up behind themselves, their children and in turn teach their children how to clean up behind themselves.  Just because she/they have less than others doesn’t mean they have to live in filth; especially when it forces others to have to clean up behind them.

I participate in community service events where we clean up low-income areas and each time I hope it inspires the residents in those communities to do better for themselves.  If others are giving of their time and services to come from their homes/neighbourhoods to lend a hand, then they, too should show some pride and self-respect to do their parts as permanent members of said communities.

I wish I could get them to explain to me why they feel compelled to live in this way and it scares me to think of how they’d live if they did in fact have a better or bigger place to live.  Sadly, all I can do is shake my head and hope that they’ll have the presence of mind to be better examples for their children and be better for themselves.

Live the life you love; love the life you live!

What I want to see in 2013…

More doing something about it; whatever the ‘it’ is than talking about it

People taking back their communities

Young people wanting more for themselves than being ballas, shot callers, basketball wives,  and (un)reality tv lifestyles

Adults actually being adults

Family values, customs, and traditions being embraced and not discarded

Less senseless killing

Some semblance of world peace and order

People being accountable for THEIR actions and not blaming others for their problems

If it’s broke, fix it

Love being more than just a four-letter word

Self-worth, self-esteem, and dignity being instilled in our children

Children being and acting like children

Living the life you love; loving the life you live

Parents not shirking their roles/responsibilities on others

People realizing that there are real consequences to their actions

The rebirth of REAL music and quality tv

Facebook, emails, texting NOT being the primary source of communication; phones can and should be used for real conversation

More people taking the time to mentor, nurture, and help others

Random acts of kindness be less random

Authentic  living

God/faith being put into play always; in all ways; not just when it’s convenient

Healing, growing, being, doing

Wanting more than the okey doke or mediocrity

 

Live the life you love; love the life you live!

Things trending in Jewelry store (my mind)…

Really disgusted by the effort so many put into Christmas, but don’t recognize the real reason of the season

I feel that people who do not believe in Christ should not celebrate Christmas

Adults continuing to tell their  kids if they’re not good, they won’t get anything for Christmas, but buy them a plethora of gifts anyway…Then they wonder why kids don’t respect them

I wish people would focus on family, memory making/sharing, community, compassion, gift making; not (exaggerated) gift buying

One’s expression of their love should NOT be proven by how many gifts are bought or how much money is spent (for any occasion)

Why does it constantly take a tragedy for people to prioritize or want to effect change?

I have no respect for parents who put their careers, hobbies, friends/social life before their kids.  Yes, parents need adult time, but there needs to be balance

Love is worth everything

People are just like seasons; they change!

Loyalty, trust, fidelity are NON-negotiables; can’t understand why people settle for less than that

hypocrisy is a parasite and the infection rate climbs steadily

Fantasy and reality and two vastly different things; so sad that so many never make the distinction

“There ain’t no substitute for the truth…Either it is or isn’t”  The Truth – India.Arie

I refuse to believe that nothing good can come from a negative experience

Be, do, give, act!

That is all; carry on!

 

 

So Beautiful…

Once again, music gives me reason for pause. I was listening to Spotify and a song that I’ve always liked came one and I immediately recalled when I first heard it and the chuckle it gave me as the lyrics were quite interesting. Lil Lady was just a tyke at the time, but I remember her smiling; moreso at the melody than the lyrics in their entirety; however, I remember her saying, “you’re so beautiful, but oh so boring…” which are a part of the lyrics.

As I listened to it again today, I thought about the weight of truth the song holds. We’re conditioned to believe that beauty makes one interesting and/or attractive, but truth be told, there are so many attractive people that are just as bland and boring as a sterile white room.

I remember a boy I went to high school with who was rather attractive, athletically built, and well-dressed, but he was not the brightest star in the sky. I hadn’t coined the phrase then that I do know, but he rates as a “Himbo”; the male version of a Bimbo. In my lifes travels, I’ve come across quite a few men who fit into this category and it reconfirms why I established the “10 Minute Rule”. What is that you might ask, well, my lovies, I’m here to tell you.

The “10 Minute Rule” is me to finding a man attractive, size him up, and then he’s got 10 minutes to get and sustain my interest. Fortunately, I’m no longer single, but back in the day and actually, it still holds true just for social interaction that the rule applies. I have a very short attention span with men because all too often their egos confuse them into thinking they’re far more interesting than they really are or some woman allowed him to believe his game could and would work with ALL women. In addition, I want a man to see me as more than just a “pretty face”, so his conversation cannot revolve around my looks or body; especially because I KNOW I’m so much more than that anyway.

As the parent of a rather beautiful chlid, I instilled in her that she is more than the sum of her parts and she’s more than a pretty face. I’ve always taught her that looks may get her in the door, but her brains will keep her there. I’ve further taught her that she’s better off being pretty smart, than pretty dumb; fortnately she took heed and has excelled in life for the combination of both, but she gives more time and attention to being smart.

It’s my hope that we can put more emphasis on things that actually mean something and stop settling for the superficial and topical. I know it’s not going to be an easy task with all the boolshyte messages and images we see and hear in the media, but I can and will remain hopeful.

Here’s the song So Beautiful
Lyrics…
I was listening to this conversation
Noticing my daydream stimulated me more
I was crumbling with anticipation
You’d better send me home before I tumble down to the floor

You’re so beautiful but oh so boring
I’m wondering what am I doing here
So beautiful but oh so boring, I’m wondering
If anyone out there really cares
About the curlers in your hair
My little golden baby, where have all your birds flown now?

Something’s glistening in my imagination
Motorvatin’ something close to breaking the law
Wait a mo’ before you take me down to the station
I’ve never known a one who’d make me suicidal before

She was so beautiful but oh so boring
I’m wondering what was I doing there
So beautiful but oh so boring, I’m wondering
If anyone out there really cares
About the colour of your hair
My little golden baby, where have all your birds flown now?

That is all!

likes/dislikes about men…

Likes…

  1. Boxer briefs
  2. Sex
  3. Loving a good one
  4. Ruggedness
  5. Tendered aggression
  6. Mental intellect
  7. The challenge
  8. When one can make me feel ‘pink’
  9. A well dressed one
  10. One who isn’t afraid to show his true emotions

Dislikes…

  1. One who doesn’t take care of his kids
  2. Sloppy dresser
  3. Inability to communicate
  4. Posers/players
  5. Lack of onus, priority, ambition
  6. So-called game
  7. Deference
  8. Poor grooming/hygiene
  9. Infidelity
  10. Down low brothers

That is all!

Thoughts on what I’m thinking…

I listen to music daily and take comfort in knowing that there are talented people who can take words and make them speak to my various moods and states of being.  Music rules!

Letting go isn’t always easy, but the lightness of being is absolutely wonderful

I am purposed and I use my God-given gift to bless and nurture others

I may not always  like what I see of myself on the outside, but I am absolutely impressed and love who I am on the inside

Love has an amazing capacity to render the most beautiful feelings and emotions if we’re willing to just let it do its thing instead of trying to control it

I accept that there are things and people in life that I do not like and am wise enough to know that I do not need to justify them with anyone other than myself

Time and distance can never erase the closeness to another one feels in their heart

If I could have any one thing in this life, it would be for my parents to simply own their shit and be honest with their kids before they die

I took a look at my “What if I won the Lottery” list I wrote some time ago and realized it hasn’t changed much.  In fact, it’s increased in relation to whom else I’d give my money to.  It was proof positive that I truly am a giver and live within comfortable means

I love hard and can be loyal to a fault and while it’s caused me much pain over the years, I haven’t changed that part of me; instead I’ve changed who’s worthy of it

I’ve had more people use me, hurt me, manipulate and try to control me more than I’ve had them love me and it has hurt like hell, but in spite of it all; I thank them…truly thank them for giving me the strength to overcome and be the woman I am today

That is all!

Thursday Thoughts…

While I’m waiting for things to slow down enough for me to get Andrea and Tariq out of the bedroom, I thought I’d share some things that have been on my mind…

The following are things that have been or are currently on my mind…
Why do women who KNOW a man does not want a child think it’s okay to get pregnant, have the baby, and then get mad when he wants nothing to do with the child?

No p*ssy or d*ck is THAT good that we feel it’s okay to kill another for it or over it!

If leading by example means being the example worth following, why aren’t those of us in a position to effect positive changes doing anything for the youth?

I find it interesting that NO ONE is talking about Trayvon Martin anymore

Why? Why? Why…Is anyone STILL giving Kim Kardashian any airtime?
Now that Popeprah is off the air, what are her cult followers doing with their lives?

Real Housewives of wherever the hell they’re from is some real live boolshyte! I polled a some housewives I know and NONE of them live like the portrayals on TV, which leads me to say, “those heffas ain’t housewives, but drama queens, attention whores, and no nothing about REALITY”

On the subject of reality, when are we as a society going to STOP getting caught up in this so-called ‘reality’ they’re calling tv shows? Call it want you want, but there’s nothing REAL about that ish.

Since wearing my hair natural, I’ve noticed I get far more attention from men then when I was wearing my hair relaxed, which leads me to ask this…Are men seeing women with natural hair as more confident, secure, low maintenance and approachable than their relaxed hair/weaved counterparts?

Is ‘light-skinned’ vs. ‘dark-skinned’ still an issue?

That is all!