Truth be told, of all the fights I’ve had in my life; there have been many, the majority have been with a guy. I grew up with brothers and hung out with them and/or their friends often. I was a Tom-Boy growing up, so the likelihood of my getting into a situation was pretty high. Couple that with the fact that my youngest brother and I are only two years apart, it was pretty much a given that if you messed with one of us, you’d be running the risk of messing with both of us. No matter how things stood between us, there was no way you were going to eff with my family. I can’t say I was a mouthy kid, that was mostly my brothers and their friends. I was more the silent, vengeful type who’d open a can of ‘Get Right’ and unleash it like a wild cat in pursuit of her prey. I’m actually still very much that way. As long as I’m still talking, you’re pretty much safe; however, it’s when I’ve stopped talking and you think things are cool, is when I’m likely to strike.
When I was in Basic Training, I went through it with two male platoons, which was pretty much unheard of at the time. There wasn’t enough girls for start a company without keeping us for weeks as holdovers and the males were a platoon short of a full company, so the powers that be decided to merge us all. Many of the girls were unhappy about having to compete against the boys citing they had greater strength etc, than they did. Really? You’re in Basic Training hun! Take off your Garanimals and put your big girl panties on! Basic wasn’t going to be a cake walk for anyone regardless of gender.
Given that I’d grown up with the boys and had infiltrated their world, I had some insight to how they operated. Couple that with my having been schooled about the ins and outs of Basic from guys friends and family who’d already been through it, I know how to play the game and roll with the punches. Over the course of the eight weeks, I became a force to be reckoned with and was both feared and loved by my peers. There wasn’t a challenge I wouldn’t accept and there wasn’t anyone I allowed to try to punk me. Not that I’m actually proud of it, but I was actually quite the bully in my platoon. I’d cash checks on those that wanted to write them, dared both genders to try me, and refused to allow anyone to intimidate me; that included the Drill Sergeants. The odd thing was, it wasn’t that I was so strong, it was that I had so much repressed anger and pain bottled up inside me, that environment was the perfect place for me to unleash it all and unleash it I did. I was strong. I was fierce. And I was determined.
Some of the girls hated me because I wouldn’t be or act weak or try to use my feminine wiles to get over. C’mon chick! That was neither the time or place and I especially despise when women reduce themselves to this tactic. The guys actually respected and feared me because I wouldn’t play dumb and I met them head on. A few were literally scared of me given some random acts of violence I inflicted, but at the end of the day, it was all about survival and achieving the ultimate goal of graduating. I’d given up too much to not succeed.
Since Basic to now, I know I’ve maintained the same source of strength and refuse to ever appear weak, even if that’s really how I’m feeling. I’ve overcome too much to let a man think he can rule me or that I won’t stand up and fight. My ex-husband came dangerously close to testing me on that one. Hence, his being my EX!!!
I won’t speak for all women, but I know this about myself…I’ve earned who I am as a woman and I’ve earned my strength by never allowing a man to think his balls are bigger than mine. I give as good as it gets and I give as good as I can take. I still prefer the company of men to women and am the “go to gal” with my guy friends. I have a couple of women in my life that I know would employ from frightening means of having my back and me theirs. I’m not game for the bullshit and drama that often comes with having too many women friends. As you saw in my post Blog Challenge: Day 16 — Someone or something you definitely could live without, I strive to avoid the drama as much as possible.
In closing, I’ll rest on this quote and let that resonate in your spirit for a while…
Yea, I said it!