Blog Challenge: Day 14: A hero that has let you down. (letter)

hero

I can’t say I’ve really had a Hero in my life.  I’ve had people whom should have been worthy of such a title, so I guess I’ll have to use one of them for this entry…

hmm

Dear Dad:

Given that I didn’t know you until I was 5, I missed the initial connection that I should have had with you, but once you were in my life, I can’t say that you actually stepped up and did what a father should do.

I can’t say I have entirely bad memories, but I wouldn’t say there are any real standout moments either. You did what you had to do as a father; provide financially and spend time with me physically, but when it came to guidance, life lessons, and such, I certainly didn’t get those lessons.  I think you need some remedial lessons in that department; especially when you’ve made comments about my life and lifestyle of which you know nothing about since we ended up being estranged for 10+ years.

You exposed me to things and people who were no good for me and caused me emotional hurt and pain; things you should have protected me from.  Fortunately, I was eventually smart enough to forgive you and myself for carrying that emotional baggage for way too long.  I will give you credit that when I did finally have a face to face with you about it, you apologized.

Well, as you know I’m a grown woman with a child of my own and her father loved her wholly.  He was there for her in every way possible and I’m eternally grateful for that. I saw her grow under his guidance and constant presence in her life.  I wish I had that, but I carry no grudges because to see her have those things were a blessing and comfort in my life.

I hope before you pass, you’ll reflect and ask God for forgiveness for your shortcomings and wrongdoings with not just me, but all your children.  Just because you are a Christian, doesn’t give you automatic admission to heaven.  It’s your actions that get judged not your faith.

 

Yea, I said it!

 

4 thoughts on “Blog Challenge: Day 14: A hero that has let you down. (letter)

  1. Now how does it feel to get that out?

    Thanks for sharing… we have more in common… we are on a journey…..

    Interesting

    • Yes, it seems we do and we are. When I read the challenge topics, I knew some would be a little difficult, but I still took it very casually. Now, that I’m actually going through each one, I’m finding a newness to my life and my emotions. Interesting indeed!

  2. Loved this post, Blu. I don’t know what to add or if anything else needs to be said. So I will only say that I feel you. Not from a father standpoint, but I think much of what you said applies to my second baby mom who I forgave and accept her apology.

    Good to see two people come together and work out whatever situation.

    • In spite of his curious ways, my father is much easier to talk to than my mother. And since I’ve had less of an actual relationship with him, it was easier to say what I needed to be said because the connection was so erratic anyway.

      As I said, I had to forgive in order to let go of the, carried too long, emotional baggage. So, yes, it’s good when ” people come together and work out whatever situation”

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