I got gripes…

Given my current erratic state of mind, I thought it best not to try and post something that requires a consistent thought process, so instead, I’m going to compile a few things I’ve got gripes with and why.  Strap on your seatbelts kiddies, this could be a rollercoaster ride…

As a dark skinned woman who’s heard the phrase “you’re pretty to be dark skinned”, which tends to illicit a plethora of emotions mostly ranging in the rage mode where I have to count very quickly to 10 as not to spew the stream of expletives forming in my mouth from the foolishness I’ve just heard.  Contrary to popular belief ALL shades of black is beautiful and should NOT now be  suddenly embraced because Lupita Nyong’o has won an Oscar and broken the white societal stereotype for black women.  More importantly, we as a black community, should have long embraced our wide and varied hues instead of waiting for mass media to shove it in our faces.  I understand the past force-fed attitude and belief that darker skinned blacks were less than, but it’s 2014 damn it, so get a damn grip.


Why is it that when the likes of Beyonce, Jennifer Hudson and the like take their damn weaves out the media goes crazy talking about “oh, check out their new bob or hairdo!”  Really??? Freaking really?  This is one of the most annoying things I have the misfortune to read  in the media.  Now, I’m not saying that these or other woman can’t and don’t grow long hair, but damn, let’s call a spade a spade and stop all the damn pretense.

beyonce long beyonce short hudson short hair hudson with hair

Please for the love of all things that make sense, can someone please tell me why they’re still caught up in how many people are on their Facebook, following them on Instagram or Twitter?  Real friends are a small and valuable commodity and counted in quality and not quantity.  Got me shaking my damn head so hard I’m getting a headache. migraine

real friends

Was having a conversation with My Love and were were discussing the importance of dressing well.  I didn’t say out of budget, I said ‘well’.  Dressing well makes you feel good, evokes positive responses and can sure as hell my a woman’s panties wet without a touch.  He dresses okay and looks nice when he dresses and has argued that he doesn’t need a closet full of clothes.  I agree; however, having the necessary basics and being able to coordinate a nice ensemble without having to run to the mall is key.  We were out and saw a group of men closer to our demographic and he gave me that ‘look’ to punctuate what I’d been saying.  Their women were well dressed and they were selling their women quite short.  While this comment is an immediate indictment to men, I caution women to step their respective fashion game up too.

swag vs class

And for shits and giggles, I’ll throw this pic in.  The dress cost $8.49 and the shoes $19.99 (both designer gear I might add) and for $28.48 I looked amazing if I say so myself.  Styling on a budget 😉

me @ SSCAll for now my lovelies…

Yea, I said that!

12 thoughts on “I got gripes…

  1. Didn’t see the Oscar’s but I can imagine the conversations which took place behind close doors, regarding the motherland beauty Lupita. For the sake of this post I definitely understand that you’re saying but Blu you know just as well as I do that we’re basically stuck in a world where black is associated with bad and white, good. So I’m thinking the closer one’s skin color resembles…Well, you know what I’m saying.

    Women, to me, are beautiful period and grown men understand it’s more about how a woman treats them more than anything else.

    You looking like an award winner. I saw ur notifications in my emails, I wanted to stop by

    • Hey lovely! It’s been quite a while and I appreciate your stopping by.

      Yes, I sadly do know what you’re saying; however, it’s still a shame that we, as a community refuse to embrace our own and then complain that “white society” is making trophies of us.

      I applaud your “grown men understand it’s more about how a women treats them more than anything else” statement. It’s certainly a plug to those who can see the forest for the trees.

      Thanks for the compliment. 🙂 I learned a long time ago that classic styles sustain and trends fail. If a designer or store want to sell me their high-end items at a fraction of the cost, who am I to tell them not to 😉 Hehe!

  2. deep chocolate skin is the new black? Well, hey, big revelation init? Jokers.

    Has Beyoncé even got real hair. That racially ambiguous shit is played. You can come out now B.

    Well dressed? Wet? I see a correlation. You always gotta come correct! Like the hot lady in the pic, go in

    • LOL @ “Big revelation” Those bloody fools have been depriving themselves of authentic, unadulterated beauty yea?!

      Thank goodness someone else agrees with me

      As well you should luvie. A well dressed person; man is my case is visual foreplay 😉 Hot lady? Where did you see her????

  3. Hi five you do look GR8T….

    Onto the post, woman you crack me the frack up. Great content, but darn I got a headache by the time I read up to your “headache”, Iawrd give me strength :).

    I feel your gripe blu and unintentionally, am giving the ranks of Lupita’s amazing opalecsent beauty another 6months till a lighter shade of black becomes the center of attention.

    We all know some of the most stunning dark skinned women are hidden away so for now, I’ll roll with what the world of hollywood has to offer.

    And as for the starlets and women of colour?? Am so over their milky way skin tone changes. Night shade of dark skin is here to stay, anything else is a lie.

    And I have to admit, the over night growth of weaves and extensions are great for that different edge, I’ve been that girl so am not gonna hate. Am now sporting a short sassy crop and that signature hair style is a keeper.

    My biggest disappointment with most black women in the spotlight is that, their sexy black features have morphed into something of the plastic black barbie doll nature and it’s startling to witness.

    As for ladies styling themselves radiant, it’s not about the price tag but how you work it. Anyone can buy fairly reasonably priced clothing, accessorize correctly and bam you’re literally sizzling hot.

    • Why thank you ma’am! *blushes*

      You know BFC, I can’t say I disagree with you on Lupita’s probable short lived attention. I recall some years back when Alek Wek; a very dark skinned sister with closely cropped hair made the cover of Vogue and everyone was cheering at her success “for a dark skinned girl”. She’s since graced many a magazine cover and is currently still modeling. I get the draw, but wouldn’t it be nice for someone to simply be recognized for their talent and not their looks? Wishful thinking I know. My joke reply when people say, “so, you’re not just a pretty face” is…”well, if I had to rely on my looks in life, I’d be pretty f*cked”. I refuse to allow myself to be reduced to my looks – Just saying!

      I’ve done pretty much everything with my hair; it’s an accessory to me and on the occasions where I’ve worn a weave, I’ve let it be known it’s a weave so when I sport a drastic change in looks, folk aren’t saying, “oh my gosh, I can’t believe you cut all your hair off. Puhleez. I keep real; real! My hair is currently natural and has been for about 3 years now. I like the versatility of the varied ways I can wear it without a constant trip to the beauty shop.

      So, I see you’re a woman after my own heart where fashion is concerned. 😀 Like I said, why spend full price when I don’t have to? I even rock a CZ ring that looks real as heck without the $$$ price tag.

  4. Yes indeed, BluJewel, that’s certainly a good look!!! But that has nothing to do with the outfit.

    I’m a fair skinned man with hazel eyes. I’ve long thought that the fascination with complexion was silly. The thing about our women that I always thought was amazing was that they came in practically every complexion possible. Back in the day I dated women that could pass for white and others that were damned near navy. I don’t get it, I just don’t understand why some people look at dark skinned women as something less than what many of them are….beautiful.

    I think that the hang up for Caucasians is that it’s easier for them to see themselves in those of us with fair skin. Our society and even the world committee is quick and has been for centuries to make distinctions in good and bad, light or dark, black and white.

    That shit is as old as the hills. Still, it’s wrapped in ignorance.

    • Thanks Reggie 🙂

      I’ve heard the same compliments raised in men of your complexion and eye colour being “better than” the darker man, but like you, I think ALL men are attractive in their respective hue. I think it’s pretty damn wonderful that we, as blacks come in so many shades and instead of hating each other for it, we truly need to celebrate each other for it.

      Yes, it’s as old as the hills and until we stop allowing Caucasians and the ignorant blacks to continue to lead us downward on an oil slicked path, it’s unfortunately going to continue. *sigh*

      • Yeah, it’s just ignorant. I wish I had a dime for every time someone told me that I had “good hair”. Or one time years ago when a Caucasian woman I worked with told me that I was “more white” than many of the “black people” she knew………..as if that was a compliment.

        When I went off, she acted as if I was ungrateful.

        Some people are just ignorant, that is a fact I readily accept at this stage of my life.

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