This installment came hard and fast so I admit that my thoughts may be a little scattered, but it’s going to be something I’ll find myself coming back to.
Here’s Part 1
“I think you can have everything you want in life, but if your vision of what that is, is attached to some picture…you’ll probably get disappointed.”
Except from The Adventures of a Love Investigator, 527 Naked Men & One Woman – Barbara Silkstone
Have you ever read something and immediately been able to apply it to a person, place or thing? Well, the afore referenced excerpt not only left me gobsmacked, but gave me simultaneous pause. I thought about how people create their lives before it’s even been lived and assign fantasy and grandeur to it; essentially trying to will their desire into existence.
I found myself thinking mostly about woman who create such a life and truly believe their life will simply fall into place as they’ve visioned it they’ll achieve and get all that they think they’re entitled to. Now, don’t get me wrong, having goals and desires isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but if, like the excerpt states, is solely assigned to the picture and not the reality, disappointment will set in like a fog and ruin the very image that was so desired. Fantasy vs. Reality tends to be a very unbalanced fight and the former tends to lose more often than not since it’s borne of a typically skewed view of what life is or should be.
This life perception is as dangerous as jumping from a plane without a parachute. This perception suddenly manifests itself in the self-asked statement, “how the hell did I get here?” Or “I didn’t expect this to happen!” Well, this is where reality shows up and forces us to cash a very lofty check. Reality starts to tear down the walls of the self-made castle and shows you the mold and dry rot that’s really there. Reality shows you that life is not and will not be what we <i>want</i> it to be, but shows what is <i>actually</i>. Fortunately, I’ve never deluded myself that life is a fairy tale and that I’d be <i>given</i> that which I hadn’t earned.
I listen to women speak of the unfairness of life as it pertains to relationships and I find myself wanting to choke back the hysterical laughter that is bursting to get out. I listen to them make dictations about what they want and from a man meanwhile they have little to bring to the table save for their appetites. I recognize that there are some very successful women who have a menu of things to bring to their relationship table; however, the majority of them have ‘visions’ of what the relationship <i>should</i> be like according to them. Fantasy vs. Reality running rampant once again. These woman fail to realize that life doesn’t work this way and just because someone looks good on paper, it doesn’t mean they’re a good match or that person wants to be a ‘vision’.
I wish people would stop planning life and actually live it. I want to see relationships be nurtured and flourish, but when I constantly hear the spiel of so many women, I can’t do anything but withhold laughter and the slap they so desperately need.
There is more to life and a relationship than what one <i>thinks<i/> it should be because they’ve done “all the right things” to get one. Sometimes it takes a little or even a <i>lot</i> more than that for life and relationships to be earned, experienced, and well-lived.
Yea, I said it!