One persons opinion; another persons argument…

So, I read this article 10 Reasons Why Black Women Prefer White Men and it left me agreeing in some parts, saddened in another, and ultimately a bit conflicted. Why? Because I’ve dated and am currently involved with a white man and where I may want to disagree I can’t, but I can’t fully agree either; a quandary if you will. These are the ten reasons the author cited and my response to each. You’ll have to read the article to see what the author said.

1. Your children will be half White, with lighter skin and a better grade of hair, which is what most Black men wish they had
This I do not agree with; not one iota. Yes, most bi-racial children do come out with lighter skin, that does not always mean the child will be as light as one might think.  Watch an episode or two of Maury where paternity is at question and you’ll get a real interesting lesson in DNA.  And, while there are some who would prefer a “better grade of hair”, I don’t believe that creating a bi-racial child ensures that.  I’ve seen many a bi-racial child with unruly, nappy, and a rather unattractive grade of hair.

2. White men live longer
This I can somewhat agree with since there is a large amount of black men without adequate health insurance; however, white men and black men often die of very different diseases. So, if we exclude social reasons for a black men dying (death from shootings etc), I think this issue may need to be looked at again.

3. White men cater to their women
I’m not sure where this came from, but trust me, I’ve been around enough suburban mums to hear the contrary. Agreed, white men may take a different approach to how they handle their women, but I can’t fully agree that white men are dropping everything and catering to their women. In fact, I’ll go as far to say that many white men will do what it takes to pacify and placate their women so they don’t have to hear their mouths.

4. White men are gentlemen
WRONG! I had to insist my man treat me with the due chivalry I deserve. His ex didn’t insist on it and he felt it was antiquated and unnecessary. I’d told him from the door I was used to having doors held open for me etc, since that’s how my brothers and male friends had treated me. Black men do know how to be a gentlemen. Those that do not know are usually not taught or have not been held accountable for their lack.

5. White men are very easy-going and laid back
Hmm? I’m torn on this one. I don’t know any black men that are going to haul off and clock their women if they’re in an argument, but some can/will get pretty intense and nasty. That being said, white men do that too. I think for this one, the author may want to look at the socio-economic demographic of men he’s using for his view on this. The black men I know from the various rungs on the social ladder are pretty easy-going and would rather leave than get into a knock down drag out argument. I also knew a white guy who’d do everything he could to intimidate his woman, so again, a more in-depth look needs to be exacted.

6. White men know that there are ways to make a lot of money legally
Wow! That’s a grand example of shifuggery right here. When was the last time you heard of a black man being indicted on federal embezzlement charges? White men are notorious for this and that’s pretty damned illegal if you ask me. Furthermore, white men are big traffickers of many illicit drugs and other corporate crimes, so while some black men find quick and easy illegal ways of making money, their peer white counterparts are also doing the same. And for the record, I know many a black man making 6-figured salaries on their 9-5 gigs.

7. White men prefer that their woman stays home and will do anything to create a comfortable life for her
REALLY? Again, I’ve heard many a suburban mum who’d rather be out doing something other than going to Mommy & Me groups, Yoga, and being their kid’s Classroom Volunteer. Yes, he may want to provide a comfortable life for her, but it also gives him a level of control over her and a means to keep her in her place so he can do whatever he pleases. This, for me my dear readers is a FACT I came to learn when I stayed home for 18 months with Lil Lady and also when I was unemployed for 20 months. White women talk a lot of shit when they get together with their counterparts at the gym, Starbucks, and their high-end grocery stores.

8. White men know how to manage money
50/50 on this one. The author is apparently talking about an urban aged demographic or one that pays his bills, but leans toward maintaining a certain social status. The ones I know, manage their money well.

9. White men have family values
Of the three white men I’ve been involved with, 2 came from divorced homes with effed up family ties and values and the others parents were still together, but the father had cheated many times, so this statement doesn’t exactly reign true with me. Family values are learned, taught, and passed on, so while some black families may not be not always traditional, it doesn’t mean that there’s a lack of them.

10. White men take care of their women
Please refer back to my comments on 3 & 7

There is SO much more I want to say about this subject, but I’m currently mentally drained from it; however, at a later date, I’ll revisit this post and say the rest.

Live the life you love; love the life you live!

11 thoughts on “One persons opinion; another persons argument…

      • At the end of the day, men are men. Is one ethnic group any better than the other?!? No.

        To say that all black men are any particular way or all Caucasian men are another way is just silly. Those stereotypes just don’t hold water. There are good men of color and good Caucasian men and plenty of men of both races that aren’t worth more than two dead flies.

        There also aren’t any perfect men in the world. Lately I’ve been taking a long look within and I’ve been striving to change those things about myself that I don’t like and I encourage all men and women to do so as well.

        People want toi be with and love the people they love for whatever reasons. I’ve always been attracted to women of color. I couldn’t imagine being in a relationship with a woman of another race. Of course, I married my college girlfriend and we went to a Historically Black University; and no matter where life takes me, I really can’t even imagine deviating too far from that path.

    • Thanks for your feedback BC. At least I know that I’m not speaking from a limited viewpoint. As I said, I found some truths and I found some blantant stereotypes of limited viewpoints from the author.

      As I said, I’ve dated and am currently involved with a white man and trust me, the author has a lot to learn about his white counterparts…lol!

  1. I’ve never dated a white woman so maybe I haven’t really considered any of this. Still, I detest blanket descriptions cos they totally disregard cultural differences and racial bits are usually (over)generalizations. That said #1 is complete bonkers. I have incredibly tough hair, fiercely resistant to most combs known to man, wear it with black pride (whatever that is). OK, so even if I didn’t like it would I cross the racial divide for a shallow reason as “good hair”?

    • You and Reggie said some of the same things and that’s why I wanted the black male input. Sadly, to some, you’d both be considered “less black” because neither of you fall into the stupid stereotypes/generalizations that you’ve been labled with.

      Like I said, there are plenty of bi-racial kids without “good hair”… LOL!

  2. @Reggie – This is the what’s important and Chrome says something similar too. “There also aren’t any perfect men in the world. Lately I’ve been taking a long look within and I’ve been striving to change those things about myself that I don’t like and I encourage all men and women to do so as well.”

    We like/love whom we do and at the end of the day, that’s all that should matter. We need to stop making these ridiculous generalizations and perpetuate stereotypes. Yes, they tend to be founded upon something; however, with the merge of races and socio-economical statuses, we’ve all become one in the same.

  3. Interesting. i have an interracial dating post in draft that I wrote and declined to publish afterward, cause I figured people would become offended.

    Everything I’m reading on the list can be considered as things brothers fail to do for there sistas, I’m guessing?

  4. I have never dated a white guy before just havent come across one I clicked with I suppose. The honest truth I’ve always opted for a blackman becausw thats my flavour. As far as am concerned what a white man can do for a sista probably is significant to some out there but I’ve always grown to know that in a relationship you grow with your man.

    Some of the bullet point commentary is a bit unfair. I must have cussed throuhgh half that post especially when I clicked on the link above. Stereotyping of the black man is a shame there folk out there who take care of their families just as well as the white man so people need to remember not to get it too racially twisted.

    • Cussed? I was cussing and laughing in one synonymous motion because in some odd way, what was being said was based off an initial truth; however, there was a lot of generalizations because he made it seem that ALL black men were as he depicted. That’s like saying ALL white men are rapists, serial killers etc.

      At the end of the day, love knows no longer and we end up liking or being attracted to whomever we do. I bet if we all did a profile on one of those E-dating sites, we’d probably find ourselves matched with someone outside of our race. Why? Because it would be a blind profile etc. Colour adds or takes away from attraction sometimes based on nothing more than perception, stereotypes, and generalizations. But that’s just my opinion. 😉

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s