This is one of the things I want to see more of in 2013 and beyond and it’s one of the things I have to take to task myself. My relationship with my mother is like oil and water and no matter how much it’s shaken, it never really comes together. I’ve been more rounds with her than kids going around the Mulberry Bush. It’s one crazy revolving door of drama. I walk away, I come back, and with each turn question why I even bother especially when I can give anyone a play-by-play of a conversation with her before it even takes place and then put the phone on speaker and mute it and prove myself right. Crazy right? Yes, it is, but oh so very true.
I don’t hate my mother, but I hate things about how; especially her narcissism and unrelenting desire to play either the victim or martyr. I’m tired of her drama and I’m tired of me finding ways to tolerate it and her bullshit, so I’ve decided to do what I do best by way of communication and that’s write her a letter. I’ve done it once before and it went unaddressed by her as if I’d never wrote anything. This one will be point specific and will cause her foundation a seismic tremour or two. Don’t get me wrong, my intent is not to be mean or disparaging, but to merely point out some things she doesn’t know about me or why I am the way I am. She’s the catalyst for some major trauma in my life and if I’m ever going to be able to fulfill my goal to write a book and/or screenplay, then she needs to hear these things and hear from right from me.
In truth, I haven’t a clue how she’ll react to it, but it’s not about her; it’s about me. I’ve already given my stepdad the heads up that something is forthcoming so he’s not caught off guard by what will be a sizeable curse Blu tirade that will ensue, but like I said, it’s not about her; though she’ll find a way to at least try. Dad’s cool with it and he’s supportive of my decision and what I need to do.
It’s broken; it’s been broken and what I plan to do may fix it and it may not, but either way, I’m going for it. It can’t really get any worse anyway.
Live the life you love; love the life you live!