Love is…

Telling someone that you love them is good. Showing them that you love them is better. Making them feel how much you love them is best.” — Terry Campbell (‘stolen’ from his Facebook page). You can also find him at The Cheap Seats

With the state of affairs; no pun intended, relationships all too often fall short because too many forget that Love is an adjective — an action word; making it more than something that you simply say. What one does is to support what they’ve said adds more weight, but having one feel the combination of the two; word and deed, completes the equation and fortifies the foundation.

When polled, I think many would say that their spouse/partner/significant other may lack the continuity reflected Terry’s words, which is very sad. We get caught up and we start to forget the love is the glue that holds us together. Love; be it platonic or intimate (sexual) needs to be utilized always in all ways. It should never be taken for granted, abused, used as a weapon/pawn/tool, or for manipulation. Love requires nothing more than being acted upon. We have to stop just saying and get in the habit of more doing and showing.

Terry is a passionate man. Terry gives his all to a woman; sadly sometimes to his own demise; however, Terry truly IS all that his words say. I’ve known this man for 6+ years and he’s lived up to it in every way. Terry does not take love lightly and regardless of the type of relationship it is; ensures that the person knows they’re loved and cared for. Terry is one of my best friends and I hope after reading his quote that you’ll reflect on how you express love for those in your lives and evaluate how others show their love for/to you.

Nothing changes unless we do and nothing grows unless the right seeds are planted and tended for a fortuous harvest.

That is all!

5 thoughts on “Love is…

  1. I have lost two relationships because I thought saying “I love you” was enough. I never understood why the two seemed so unsatisfied with my words of love. I didn’t extend myself enough. I wasn’t a complete selfish arse, but I now understand that I didn’t extend myself in love-action ENOUGH to meet the emotional needs of each person. I’m a somewhat self contained person, and love my own company. Yet both of my ex’s were very emotional, needy, romantic family types – the kind of men who needed lots of hugs. Interestingly, both were too manly to admit it. It’s all in hindsight and long hours of pondering that I see it now.

    There were so many crossed signals in my relationships, and when I was younger I was too blind to discern any of this. I ponder why I attracted this type TWICE!

    This is a wonderful reminder of what I definitely know now. I probably will continue to need reminders to come down out of my head and into the real world of action.

    • First, let me say I understand being self-contained as I am also; however, that self-containment could be the reason why you attracted the same type twice. We oddly find or attract people who possess the qualities we lack in order to provide balance and sometimes it works and other times it doesn’t; as you experienced.

      In knowing this now, you’ve seen that regardless of the type of person we are or whom we attract, we need to express love in action and not solely in word. There has to be that feeling of fulfillment, which sadly gets overlooked. I’m currently going through a similiar situation where my boyfriends has employed the ‘say’ not necessary ‘do’ or ‘make’ me feel loved or as loved and I need to correct that behaviour otherwise it will serve to my detriment in the relationship. I understand learned behaviour, but I refuse to settle for it. My stand is, “if you want to be with me show it and if you love me show it”. You know the addage, “you can show me better than you can tell me”.

      As long we’re open to communication and be willing to change/grow, we’ll find ourselves better sustained and able to pul love in it’s rightful plact – ACTION!

      • What I’ve also learned is we have to be willing to learn each other’s “love language”. My ex couldn’t read mine, it’s not that I didn’t love either of him. Love for me was having long talks about life; love for him was doing special things for me. When angry he withheld doing special things; because this didn’t matter to me I overlooked the significance. He thought I was cold because I didn’t respond to his withholding of love. It was very convoluted. I felt he was dense because I said “I love you” over and over. He didn’t hear my love language, because I didn’t knock myself out doing “things”.
        In hindsight, I was speaking spanish and he was speaking chinese. We didn’t understand each other. We needed to take courses in each other’s love language.

        Pay close attention to your boyfriend’s love language. If he’s a “doer”, are you overlooking his “doings” because you are seeking his “sayings”? If he’s a doer, he won’t be saying. Will you notice his doings? Don’t get mad if his default is doings and not sayings, but instead notice if he’s doing love things for you. Learn a bit of his language and teach him a bit of yours, so that he can start to tighten up his “sayings” game. It will take much time and patience.
        Take it from an older sister who has learned a few things through two marriages equalling 30 years of life.

        Love and peace

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