I am with you, and I will protect you wherever you go. One day I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have finished giving you everything I have promised you. Genesis 28:15 NLT
As I’ve welcomed the New Year, I still find myself looking backward to 2011 and noting the areas of both deficiency and joy. The areas of deficiency; in their many form were great and while they were plenty painful, frustrating, and in some ways seemed damn right unnecessary, I still have to accept that they were a part of my growth process. I have to acknowledge that without pain, there can be no joy as everything in life has to have a balance. Though, it often seemed like the bad outweighed the good, I have to recognize that the joys; big or small did make an impact and are moments I truly treasure.
I look at the scripture that opens this post and it gives me comfort to know that I am not alone; I have not been forsaken, and there is something for me to look forward to. I know that as long as I hold on to Hope I will have the things I desire and I will be fulfilled by the gifts that come each day I’m above ground. I suffered a lot of losses through death, unemployment, finances, friendships, and unfulfilled goals and the weight, pain, and pressure of it all got the best of me in many ways. Fortunately, I did not digress to old and somewhat detrimental survival or coping mechanisms and where able, I found ways and people to see me through those times. Trusting and leaning on the Lord was my most consistent form of comfort. Admittedly, I didn’t always pray, fast, or meditate as well as I could, but if I did nothing else, I thanked God for waking me up and giving me the ability to make it through each day. I didn’t wallow in self-pity; though I may have wanted to, but instead continued to keep my head high and believe and hope that I could and would rise above my circumstances.
I read Chele’s post last week All You Need where she had words to describe her transitions, which were great, but I couldn’t come up with a word I’d claim for 2012; well until now. My world for 2012 is VICTORIOUS. I’ve named and claimed this year to be victorious. I can and will arise from any hardship, upset, or any negativity I may face. I’ve been there; done that and now it’s time for something better. I have and will continue to speak truth into life and trust that God will see me through. I rest on this scripture and the many others that will provide provision, strength, and comfort for each day of my life. I have much to be thankful for. This year is the year of 5 for me. 2012 adds up to 5. This is the year I will be 5 years cancer free. I turn 45 and will have lived in this county for 30 years, of which 30 is divisible by 5. This is my year VICTORIOUS. I know it! I claim it! I will live it as such. No weapons formed against me shall prosper. I will wear the full armour of the Lord and trust the blood of the Lamb will prevail over the works of the enemy.
My journey in life is far from over and I’m moving forward waving goodbye to the past in the rearview mirror. I’ve been afforded new employment with great health insurance. I’m in a loving and satisfying relationship. I have a daughter who’s doing well in college, has a great life plan ahead of her and I have real friends I can count on and family I love and trust. The umbrella to it all is having God first in my life. I may not always get it right and I may not always live according to His word, but I do know that He’ll never leave me. He’ll allow me a U-turn or a re-route in order to get it right. Now more than ever, I can actually feel the ground under my feet.
I’m living my life VICTORIOUS!
That is all!